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ACDS Extra: STATISTICIAN HUMOR





Who knew that statisticians were having all this fun?


TWO STATISTICIANS WERE traveling in an airplane from LA to New York. About an hour into the flight, the pilot announced that they had lost an engine, but don’t worry, there are three left. However, instead of five hours it would take seven hours to get to New York.


A little later, he announced that a second engine failed, and they still had two left, but it would take 10 hours to get to New York.


Somewhat later, the pilot again came on the intercom and announced that a third engine had died. Never fear, he announced, because the plane could fly on a single engine. However, it would now take 18 hours to get to New York.


At this point, one statistician turned to the other and said, “Gee, I hope we don’t lose that last engine, or we’ll be up here forever!”


* * * *


Patient: “Will I survive this risky operation?”

Surgeon: “Yes, I’m absolutely sure you’ll survive the operation.”

Patient: “How can you be so sure?”

Surgeon: “Nine out of ten patients die in this operation, and yesterday my ninth patient died.”


* * * *


Three statisticians went out hunting and came across a large deer. The first statistician fired, but missed by a meter to the left. The second statistician fired, but also missed, by a meter to the right. The third statistician didn’t fire, but shouted in triumph, “On the average we got it!”


* * * *


Q: What’s the difference between an introverted data analyst and an extroverted one?

A: The extrovert stares at YOUR shoes.




With thanks to the cut-ups at: Analytics Vidhya